Watching God from the Outside (and where I am...)

So, I have semi-actively been keeping track of Baby Stellan.  Yesterday, to be honest, I totally expected at any time for MckMama to post that Stellan had died.  But she didn't.  I prayed, and watched, and God did what I didn't expect, but totally hoped He would.

A year and a half ago, I stumbled upon Baby Audrey.  I watched as her Mama and Papa laid her to rest in a cemetery.  I sobbed.  I told God, "I don't understand."  He let me.  He just listened.  Josh told me that god is big enough to handle it.

So here I stand (literally...I stand at our computer).  I am embarrassed at my lack of faith.  I am embarrassed at how easily my emotions sway me and my attitude. I could say more, but I won't drag you down.  just pray for me, okay?