Thursday, July 25, 2013

Free Will, God's Sovereignty and What it has to do with My Marriage (Part 2)

While in Bible School, I had been encouraged to write out a list of thing I was looking for in a husband. I made a Needs List and a Wants List.  I was ever on guard for the guy who might fill that list. Never found him while at Bible School.

In May of 2003, I had been working at Friend Ships for almost a year. I had just returned from my sister's wedding in Pennsylvania. There was a new crew member named Josh. I don't remember having any thoughts on his looks...but I DO have one memory from that month. I had been visiting my roommate in the Galley (kitchen), and saw a list of foods under the title "Josh Larson food allergies." Josh was allergic to  red meat (including moose and bear), pork, potatoes, tomatoes, all citrus and gluten. I distinctly remember saying, "Boy, I pity the woman who marries this guy!"

In late August, my friend and I were looking for someone with whom to play cards. I had the idea to ask Josh, who spent most of his time in his room. He joined us that nights, and for the net several nights. September found us playing cards...just Josh and I. We spent our evenings talking and finding out that we had a whole lot in common. Quite often, I would wait on the Quarter Deck playing Solitaire waiting to see if Josh would come up to play cards.

October found the crews of the Spirit of Grace and the Spirit working long hours in preparation for the Spirit of Grace to sail on its first voyage to Israel. We worked from 7a to 7p every day. After the supper dishes were washed, the evenings found Josh and I playing cards and hanging out. More talking, friendship blossoming nicely. While I looked for all the signs that Josh was my soulmate, I never found one. I only ever saw a friend for whom I cared deeply.

The week leading up to the Grace's departure found Rebekah crying often, for I was leaving with the ship, and Josh was staying in Lake Charles. I refused to lead the way into this, a relationship I deeply wanted. I wanted to be the second part of a couple with Josh, but so often in my life, I had taken the first step...a step not mine to take. So when Josh asked me why I was crying, my only response was "It's a girl thing."

Josh knew my favorite food was a Ruby Tuesdays Ribeye. Josh told me he wanted to take me out for steak before I left. I was excited, and left my shopping for the voyage for that evening...October 31st. I was excited all day long! As soon as the clock struck 7pm, I jumped into the shower. I dressed in a black shirt and some awesome pants. I put my hair half up, and went to knock on Josh's door.  I knocked...but there was no answer. The shower that Josh usually used was unoccupied, and I was confused. I went up to the quarter deck where I found Josh...eating supper...

Confusion is a funny word. Confusion and frustration mingled on my face, as my emotions always do. The answer was simple, and Josh was quick to give it. The job he was doing wasn't done, and he needed to finish it, or we would not have food on the way to Israel. He would be done by 9:30p. He mentioned still wanting to take me out for supper and my shopping trip...which I REALLY needed to go on, or I would not have soap or shampoo! =P

True to his word, Josh was off the Grace at 9:30p and we were off at 10p. I had changed out of my fanciness into a nasty yellow long sleeved t-shirt, and my hair was up in a pony-tail. We ate, and went to Walmart. After my shopping was done, and we were checking out, Josh had a goofy smirk on his face. I asked him what he was smiling at, and he smirked and said, "It's a boy thing, you wouldn't understand."

I knew he was mocking me, and so tried to explain to him that I really liked him. After five whole minutes of stuttering, I finally spit out, "It is like a rose. If you force it open, it won't be beautiful." To which Josh replied, "Some roses open faster than others..." and before I could guess what he meant, he went on to tell me that he thought we would make a good match...and that when I came back, he would like to announce a special relationship (a Friend Ships way of keeping everyone informed, rather than gossiping).

Neither Josh nor I ever would have said that God made us for each other. At the same time, I have no doubt that God was leading and guiding us in every way.

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