Well...I have hated myself since going above 200#. My size has always been a major sore spot with me, and the depression (PPD and regular/clinical) seemed to compound things A LOT! I was always angry, and loud when it came to my kiddos. I wanted another Baby, figuring that would solve my problems (I will pause while you contain your laughter). My "problems" were emotional eating, plain ol' bad attitude towards life, frustration with myself, normal hormonal-ness...the list goes on, and on, and on etc...
My sister, Joanna, in a non-invasive kind of way posted a link on my wall for the exercise I am doing. She also included the encouragement, "This is something I think you could do." She posted it almost a month before I started it. One day, I was tired of myself. I had started my own form of the TSFL diet (using whey protein instead of soy and staying below 2000 calories, but above 1000 as the diet recommends), and I started losing weight. Since starting the "diet" on December 6th, I have bounced around in the same 10 pounds for almost 2 months now.
February 1st, I started with 25 jumping jacks. That's it. I felt like an idiot. Boy, did I feel like an idiot jumping around getting winded, and gasping for breath by the time I was done...but I did them. That same day, instead of dragging myself out of bed later than is acceptable, I went to bed early the night before, and got up at 7am. I had the house to myself...and I could look like an idiot to only me and God.
My scale says 222...not the 219 it said yesterday morning (after a 24 hr flu bug), but it doesn't say 230 either! And I am okay with that. I FEEL really good. I am now on Day 22 of 60 days (stinking flu bug set me back almost 3 days). I FEEL better. I don't look smaller, but I feel smaller. I FEEL stronger. My energy is definitely up from being/feeling like a sloth! Josh says I feel smaller and stronger...and I am holding tightly to that as my encouragement. After doing 20 crunches and 20 leg lifts, I feel like I have Rock Star Abs, and for a couple hours, I fly on that high.
Is it easy? Not if I look ahead at what is expected of me. If I look ahead, I see that in about a month and a half, I have to go jogging for an hour straight. THAT SCARES ME. But if I look at today, I only have to do 50 jumping jacks and 25 crunches. I can do that...because I have already done it in the last 20+ days! Sounds kind of like the Biblical principle, "Don't worry about tomorrow, for today has enough trouble of its own."